NO LONGER WITH US INTERN GRANITE WALL breaking news

In the resplendent brilliance of Busbar Tower, a structure rivaling even the grandest cathedrals, Meigs County’s most esteemed figures gathered on a bedazzled red carpet, channeling the allure of a Hollywood awards show. Today, it is I, Captain Busbar, graced by the presence of my league of invincible superhumans, known far and wide as The Copper Powered Components. Voltsmaster, Groundswell, and Ampere joined their voices in unison, exclaiming, “Go Tigers!!!”

Our solemn assembly gathers before the No Longer With Us Intern Granite Wall, a monument of respect to those who had dedicated their lives to our cause as part of The Copper Powered Components family. While my personal regard for them might be somewhat limited, I do hold in reverence their sacrifices, for many had undertaken heroic feats, from responding to snack emergencies to embarking on one-way missions of somewhat substantial importance.

You may be curious about why Kayla is diligently and reverently tending to the No Longer With Us Intern Granite Wall. I don’t believe in beating around the bush; I prefer to get straight to the point. Procrastination is a concept I abhor, and as someone who treasures time above all else, I feel compelled to share this wisdom. Let me be unequivocal: dancing around the bush, procrastinating, and elongating processes are akin to a corrosive force within the copper-clad realm of electrical grounding. In the domain of industry standards and copper solutions, there is no room for dilly-dallying, no time for the meandering minuet of procrastination. Time is the currency of the copper universe, and we must expend it judiciously, adhering to the sacred industry standards handed down by the eternal ones that govern our domain. Complacency kills.

Dragging our feet, much like an errant electron in a faulty circuit, disrupts the harmonious flow of progress. In the intricate tapestry of copper and grounding principles, I, Captain Busbar, stand as a beacon of efficiency. I still recall an incident when I observed a bad worker dawdling, not adhering to industry standards, and it culminated in a catastrophic failure that continues to haunt me to this very day. Therefore, let us not navigate the labyrinthine path of indecision but surge ahead, always mindful of the copper-clad truths that guide us, as we strive for excellence and innovation.

My dear friends, we are not here to mourn a per usual, but rather to rejoice in celebration. In that spirit, I would like to introduce someone genuinely extraordinary. Cloviz, please come forward and elucidate why we have gathered here today! As Cloviz approaches the podium, the audience erupts into a thunderous applause, an authentic testament to his humbling presence. Last night, Captain Busbar apprised me of a fascinating development in the ongoing investigation against him led by the Meigs County police department regarding his involvement in the incident that involved Germy, Dedre, Loren, and me. We all know Captain Busbar is innocent of any wrongdoing; this isn’t the question on everyone’s minds. The real query delves much deeper, like a mighty copper vein.

Copper ore mining is a multifaceted and intricate process. It commences with prospecting and exploration to pinpoint copper-rich areas. Once a viable deposit is discovered, the site is prepared, often involving the removal of overburden and topsoil. Subsequently, drilling and blasting fragment the ore-bearing rock. Large machinery, such as excavators and haul trucks, are then employed to transport the ore to the surface. The ore is subsequently crushed and ground into a fine powder before undergoing a series of flotation and smelting procedures to segregate copper from other minerals. Finally, the refined copper can be cast into various forms or further processed to yield copper products like wire, tubing, or sheets. This process mandates meticulous planning, precision, and adherence to environmental and safety standards to guarantee efficient and responsible copper extraction.

In times such as these, comprehending this process is indeed crucial. Alas, I must digress; this new evidence is profoundly staggering. To remain succinct and on point, I will now pass the torch to Groundswell, who played a pivotal role in this significant breakthrough in cooperation with the Meigs County police department. Thank you all, and may your evening be magnificent. As Cloviz gracefully exits the stage, a standing ovation ensues, a heartfelt response. He waves and expresses his gratitude, and after a few minutes, the audience ceases clapping and takes their seats. As the commotion subsides, Groundswell steps up to the podium. However, her attempt to charm the audience with a wink and wave garners no response, and silence fills the infinite magic corridors of Busbar Tower.

Cloviz has spoken the truth, and we now possess new evidence regarding the missing individuals. The news I bring pertains to our departed comrades, many of whom I held dear. In the midst of my investigations, I detected unusual magnetic energy beneath the topsoil layer of the burn site. Immediately, I dispatched two interns to commence excavation, preserving my own strength in case I was required for more crucial matters. After three days of ceaseless digging, 24 hours a day, with only the water they dug themselves to sustain their pathetic life energy, they unearthed this. Groundswell holds up a pure copper cube, approximately the size of a ripe, locally grown Meigs County cantaloupe. After weeks of intricate tests on the cube, I, Groundswell, made brief contact with three entities residing within it—Germy, Loren, and Dedre! Their bodies, enriched by years of copper exposure, had developed an extraordinary emergency mechanism, enabling them to form the cube and escape into its boundless void of infinite darkness. Every attempt to extract them has failed, and Colton, our expert, has gone mysteriously silent. Therefore, we have decided to place this cube in front of the hauntingly beautiful mural in the park at the middle school, where they can watch children play and welcome visitors at any time. This, indeed, is a joyous day. Now, allow me to pass the baton back to Captain Busbar to conclude this remarkable evening.

As Groundswell returns to her seat, perched atop the stage, she carefully wipes away a large mound of peanut shells in her chair, remnants of Captain Busbar’s enthusiastic peanut shelling and devouring at a superhuman rate. Rising to the podium once more, Captain Busbar dislodges a cascade of peanut shells from his attire, casually crushing them beneath his heel along with dozens of beef jerky wrappers from his earlier snack break. The audience remains in attentive silence, punctuated only by a lone voice that yells, “You suck!” just before Captain Busbar begins his final address.

“Feel free to visit your friends anytime!” Captain Busbar’s voice rings out as he throws the cube high into the sky, resembling an incredible quarterback’s throw from the Meigs County High School football team, seemingly aimed toward the park. “I’m feeling rather parched.” With this statement, Captain Busbar exits the stage, heading back into Busbar Tower, leaving the bewildered audience behind. After about 20 minutes of awkwardness, they too disperse. And thus concludes another thrilling adventure in the annals of history for Captain Busbar and The Copper Powered Components.